Terrifying German Culture Hour — Advertising

A while ago, I explained how we have fewer adbreaks here in german TV. Of course, we cought up a bit over the years, but it’s still a socialist paradise in comparison. But there is also of course a distinct… german-ness to the ads I was seeing as a kid and young adult. Even when these ads were supposed to take place in a big city in the USA:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yfp2Bg6iUdY

I, and probably a lot of my german friends were utterly convinced that this is America. Cars, cool people, sunshine, car telephones, the works. Nothing in this ad struck me as anything but American.

Boy was I wrong. My girlfriend insisted that all the US kids were constantly weirded out by this odd german ad. How can this be? Nothing german ever makes it across the pond, right? Well, I went to the Internet and found out that this is indeed a work by  Pahnke & Partners. („Pahnke“ being such a cliché german name, I still think it must be a subsidy of Pahlgruber & Söhne)

Still, we also had ads that were much more distinctively german. They then mangled Mozart for fun and profit (with very subjective measures of fun):

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1sUSnzgrD4

And yes, every brand needs it’s distinctive jingle, here’s the one for Lagnese ice cream:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkHmMUD6Rdo

(„Nogger“ is, by the way, named after it’s nougat core. Pop culture germany was and often still is ignorant when it comes to how to handle race issues. That slogan roughly translates to „get a Nogger on“, and it still boggles my mind.)

At least, that song got a country makeover to make it better:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsOvjAtBWFw

Eventually though, german advertisers cought on and some brands went for.. something different.

Ever heard of „Einstürzende Neubauten“? (translates to „collapsing new buildings“) If not, here’s a sample of their work:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiQ7IbJEsoE

The lead is Blixa Bargeld, and he did amazing spots for the DIY chain Hornbach:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0kdLmXRmEec

In case you wondered: He’s reading copytext from the stores catalog.

Later on, Hornbach goes full on feelings:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk5-bH0WQOQ

And before you doubt me, yes, germans are pretty serious about nails:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtyKNbWpfFw

So, modern german advertising has understood how to do viral buzz. And some agencies are really good at turning a brand around.

I live in Berlin, and Berliners love to complain about the BVG, the state-owned company that runs public transit. In fact, Ton Steine Scherben, the band from a previous installment actually have a song that calls for actual revolution over not paying the tickets:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-Zkkm76-_0

Of course, everything is relative. Aforementioned american girlfriend is happy and content that the U-Bahn here isn’t on actual fire:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCyFqsNmsCo

But the BVG social media team has managed to turn things around. They actually run a store where you can buy various things with their trademarked seat pattern. And who wouldn’t want to wear this tanktop?

They also maintain quite the twitter feed and occasionally make even international splashes with their Youtube videos (The only line you need to understand is „Is mir egal“, which translates to „I don’t care“.):

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEYim54pJ00

And of course, classical music:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnXnLeo54FA

Hey, JollyOrc, that is no classical music, that is.. horrible 80ies synthpop!“

Well, you’re not quite correct. This is a cover of „Ohne Dich“, one of the bigger hits during the 80ies, originally by the Münchner Freiheit:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoZ8naG0sj0

Every german in the 80ies knew this song, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there aren’t quite a few millenials who got conceived to this..

Of course, the opening salvo for this kind of viral, very german advertising came from Edeka, an until then, solidly square supermarket chain:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxVcgDMBU94

Friedrich Liechtenstein is a bonafide classical actor, artist and all around cool dude. But please, pretty-please, don’t confuse him with this swiss dude:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9z3G-duHdQ

This ad ran so often in german TV that the inevitable happened: A eurotrash music video:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QL7-yqFrkWY

 

Terrifying German Culture Hour — Country AND Western

To understand the following, you have to keep in mind that basically all germans for several generations have grown up with the stories of the brave and noble apache chief Winnetou, and his friend Old Shatterhand. The german author Karl May penned those, claiming they were the novelized diaries of his travels of the wild west — while never having left german soil.

Then 1945 the GIs came in and were eventually seen as saviours, so everything America was simply the best.

So we got us french hearthrob actor Pierre Brice to perform the very same role of the noble indian. (And from the point of view of my ten year old self, this is of course not racist or wrong in any way. Yeah, ten-year-old me was kinda stupid.)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viDCPCH2FUg

Thankfully, at some point even us germans realized how wrong this was and instead decided to parody the whole thing:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WPz81XENmg

So, aside from the movies, country & western music actually has quite a fan following in Germany.Of course, we initially needed it to be translated, and, well, germanized:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nsS_RheViI4

But soon enough, real german country bands showed up and we made things our own, especially once we figured out that country music can be coupled with trucks:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tfn0u8gUkZU

Yes, this is a song about someone driving 120 pigs to Beirut. Why? No one knows…

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-bzpp568Y8

Truck Stop is, for better or worse, the german country band. They have songs about doing the Osnabrück-Hamburg run in one day, how to survive a night-run without Dave Dudley on the radio, why fishing is so damn relaxing, and, oh, how to be a cop in the big city:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gECaoUgur0

If, while watching this, you’re in the vicinity of a german who’s a Fischkopp (a fishhead, as those who are from the northern parts of the country are happily calling themselves), you will notice at least a slight humming along, if not outright singing.

This is because this song, „Big City Beat“, is the title song for a TV series portraying the day-to-day encounters of two police officers who patrol the more earthier parts of Hamburg. The tone is down-to-earth, the pacing relaxed, and the protagonists at the same time cosmopolitan and grounded salt-of-the-earth locals.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXmYOKeQ6FY

If you don’t understood the dialogue, here’s the summary: He’s telling her why he’s on this beat now. Because he didn’t play along to racial profiling and abuse of a different fellow officer. And the actor, Jan Fedder is someone you really want to like. Here’s him in a talk show, singing a traditional Hamburg folk song. Yes, this talk show is habitually being taped in an actual bar, and yes, everyone is chugging alcohol.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6opWBtkLAcU

He’s a bit older these days, and the perfect yokel.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZW9vND8zsfs

And yes, folkys yokels are the same everywhere. So people make fun of them:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfEmapLq0nM&t=21s

The singer is Stefan Raab,a former butcher you started out as a VJ, who occasionally regularly made fun of things. And yes, this is the same band as in a few videos back.

Still, Stefan is a special kind of musical genius, who can genre-hop like no other.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPNa_9ch5FA&t=15s

(the genre he’s lampooning here is „Volksmusik“. The closest equivalent would be Country, but it most certainly is not that. But that will be another installment of this blog series.)

He habitually reworked Germanys Funniest Home Videos into the summer smash hit of uh.. who cares. But this here highlights very aptly the difficulties everyday germans have when trying to adapt to foreign music.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLtdsD-qkOs&t=20s

But the true road to greatness was paved by Stefan Raabs contributions to the Eurovision Song Contest. You might have heard about that, by John Oliver:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=We1IvUe6KLo&t=28s

Germany used to be represented by things like this:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnjahffO7eI

Things got a teensy bit more tedious in the 90ies:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFPQbnraeVg

(The Eurocats still perform regularly on cruise ships)

And the other european nationalities used to send similar candidates. For decades! In the end, fewer and fewer people watched the contest. Stefan Raab thought that someone should do something, so he produced THIS:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPZX7EZIFD0

Yes, we ran with that, while everyone else was still doing this, this or that. Yes, Eurotrash is a word. Eventually Stefan decided to run himself, so we progressed to…

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJgszpNj7dY

The finns accepted the challenge and eventually things escalated a bit, and now the Eurovision Song Contest is the camp fest that John Oliver so loved to be confused about:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAh9NRGNhUU

Thanks Stefan!

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ooWouRE8tk

PS: At some point, we understood how to do Country. Really:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_l9T1iM84k

and yes, we brought Country to the European Song Contest:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAaG0jalyjg

(thanks to Jan for reminding me of this!)

Terrifying German Culture Hour: Dinner for One

If you’ve ever spent new years eve in germany, you probably have encountered this: Dinner for One

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BN9edpdCH7c

This sketch, performed by two british variety actors (and tumblers) is a german ritual for generations by now — despite the fact that it is indeed performed in english, without any german subtitles.

Millions of germans will devote about 15 minutes sometime at new years eve to watch this clip. Slavishly. If there is no TV, modern germans will happily gather in a corner of their chosen party location, huddle around the biggest phone screen they can find and fire up YouTube.

Why?

For once, this sketch is hilarious. I mean, look at the butler stumbling over the stuffed tiger, that is solid comedic gold. And the voices he makes!

The other reason? Frankly, I have no idea. Ritual. Like the thing with the Berliner, Pfannkuchen, Kreppel, Krapfen that we insist on gobbling down at the same time. (The vast regional variety of names for food is another post. Rest assured that when ordering a Pfannkuchen, you’ll get vastly different things, depending on where you order it)

But that aside, if something is beloved, there will be copies, hommages.. remixes. One obvious thing of course is recreating it in german language. As I wrote earlier, if it is foreign tv in germany, we dub it, or, even better, remake it:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8rM7-jZeuE

If you didn’t understand a word, even though you learned german at school, you’re forgiven. This is Kölsch, one of the many wonderful german dialects.

There’s also Bayrisch:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGvpXy55x-M

Fränkisch:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfSgD3drWyo

with well-known comedians (Miss Sophie is portrayed by the musical genius from this earlier post)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BerPLxA7uE

And only germans can appreciate the genius of Downfall for one:

https://​www​.youtube​.com/​w​a​t​c​h​?​v​=​z​g​c​Z​m​2​H​_​WWg

Netflix, savvy as they are, recognized the cultural significance of Dinner for One and made a YouTube ad in this vein:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhiHT9kOdxc

It becomes slightly problematic if someone confuses the seasons and performs this sketch during the fifth season (which is the Karneval. Another post for a later time):

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHFvOfvG8VA

And to get the german kids hooked young, we also have a version with our beloved depressed square loaf, Bernd:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkS4H5fLcq4

Terrifying German Culture Hour: Hip Hop

Disclaimer: Those who know this genre, please forgive me for simplifying things A LOT, and probably getting even more wrong and for certain omitting key players. This is not my music, nor my scene, and I have no clue what I’m writing about.

For quite a while, HipHop and Rap were something that had to be imported from the US. But at some point, things changed, and germans discovered that they could use their own mothertongue to make beautiful music, and to express themselves in the manner of of what they saw on american tv.

Due to demographic reasons (black people make up less than 1% of the population), a lot of this was and is still being done by people who are as white as snow.

Except, some took the thing with the mothertongue a bit too far:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfWyo2mqXnw

That was Fettes Brot, who sing a lot in low german, their local dialect, performing their very own cover of Naughty by Nature.

At roughly the same time, another group emerged onto the scene: Die Fantastischen Vier:

https://​www​.youtube​.com/​w​a​t​c​h​?​v​=​Q​G​-​z​P​g​y​Q​DD8

Yes, these were the 90es. The FantaVier (as they got nicknamed quite fast) would stay on as the grandmasters of german Hip Hop, with a career spanning several decades.

Still, it was a glorious time where everyone and their little kid sister tried to make it big:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I7JOglOqtM

(one of the catchphrases in this song actually translates to „you’re a babe, I want to drink your bathwater!“. Yes, german hip hop was that gangsta)

Further up north, people were experimenting with soul and R&B:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8gNzJcpHW0

And some of the experiments invariably included cover versions of beloved german cultural assets:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIgQovuYiR8

And some invariably tried to emulate their idols from „the ghetto“, but still sticked to the language they knew:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n-AUUWKgCX4

But a lot of these artists „grew up“, and became fixtures in the german music scene, with songs that were beloved for a reason. But the fondness for not-so-straight videos continued. So, the Fanta4 brought as a song full of acronyms and clever alliterations:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUV3KvnvT-w

In the meantime, Fettes Brot sings about the hopeless love of teenage boys, hiring a marching band to illustrate the … ach, what would I know:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rigxc8puTts

And then there is the plain bizarre: Bettina, please get dressed:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDlC8k1SOAs

(In case you wonder: Bettina was the host of a late-night call-in tv game show, which exhorted people to call expensive phone numbers..)

And the guy with the ghetto ambitions? Well, he is part of 5 Stars Deluxe, and they are wonderful:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1oVOE7fOgUw

As wonderful as Seeed, with their… thing:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yWU0lFghxU

And to tie everything together: Here’s a grown-up Hip-Hopper with an ape marching band:

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qdtLCfEcPL4